What Are You Thinking and Choosing?

Let me share a fear I have. I’m afraid that what I’m going to ask you to do is so simple you won’t do it. With that said, let me plead, do it any way.


Pull out your notes from the “feeling” exercise. What are you feeling: fear, sadness, hopeless, anger…?

Feelings are important. Feelings are like  colored tape on a tree, they mark a path. You can trace your feelings to the source of your hurt.

If you feel sad, why are you sad, what’s driving your feeling of sadness? If you’re feeling hopeless, what’s driving your feeling of hopelessness?

  • Create space to become aware of your thoughts. Get alone. Get quiet. Turn off the music, put your phone on airplane mode or put it where you won’t be tempted to let it interrupt.
  • Be honest. Don’t edit or sensor your thoughts.
  • Be real.

Here are a few real thoughts people have shared:

“I have so much trouble making and maintaining friends. People like me at first, but then they just stop talking to me and I don’t know why?”

–Feeling Hopeless

“My girlfriend and I were in a relationship for years. Now that we broke up she is telling everyone my secrets. I feel like it is the end of the world.”

–Feeling Despair

“I’m just going through the motions. I don’t have any passion. It doesn’t make any difference what I do.”

–Feeling Unmotivated

“I am terrified of dying. I believe in God, and I believe in heaven. But sometimes unbelief just takes over.”

–Feeling Panic

“I love Christmas. I just hate how we spend Christmas. My wife’s parents and my parents are both divorced and remarried. It seems like we spend all our time jumping from house to house trying to make everyone else happy.”

–Feeling Helpless

What are YOU thinking? Write down the thoughts that are driving your feelings.


Feelings reveal thoughts and thoughts drive actions. What are you feeling? What are you thinking? What are you choosing?

All the people in the above examples had chosen the same thing. They all chose to be stuck. They chose to continue feeling and thinking the same thing. It is as though their thoughts were on a loop playing over and over and the feelings of hopelessness, despair, panic, and helplessness continued.

The good news is you don’t have to stay stuck. Steps 1-3 are the dark side of the process. Now, it’s time to move to the bright side. It’s time to get unstuck. It is time to restore hope, joy, and love.

STEP #4 To Be Continued